I was in an executive coaching session today with a favorite client. This leader oversees a number of disparate business units, hundreds of employees, large P&Ls.
We were talking about how he sees his direct reports, and he shared that his preference is for direct reports (all employees) who are fast, self-motivated, independent, and action-oriented. He said, “All of my directs are functioning the way I like them to function, and so I’m happy, and I think they are happy and getting what they need from me.”
Something struck me about his confidence on this front, in part because he’s a very optimistic person and a genuinely superb manager. Moreover, his team’s numbers are strong, meeting or beating goals. Things are great on the business front. But I wondered if there was something that might be missing from this glossy review.
I hesitantly mentioned that with him as the boss of a large, distributed team, he actually might not know if all his direct reports were getting what they needed from him because he has been extremely clear about how he wants them to show up as team members. The currency of the realm is independence, autonomy, minimal time tossing questions or uncertainties his way, hitting numbers. And his people definitely want to be strong in the currency of the realm. So how can he know if each of his directs is getting what they need from him without an authentic, curious conversation with this question at the heart?
He can’t.
This is a crystal clear example of an executive blindspot. Your people want to satisfy you. So, regardless of their personality structure or preferred approach, they will often do their damndest to show up in the way you consciously or unconsciously telegraph as your preferred way of operating.
If you are actually curious about how your directs like your way of being or savor the currency of the realm, ask them.
I suggested this for my client’s next series of 1-1s.
- Ask each direct: “How do you think I prefer that you show up in our reporting relationship?”
- If they get this right—and they almost surely will—keep going. If not, clarify.
- Once you’re on the same page, ask them: “Does this way of being managed by your boss work perfectly for you? Where is it great and where is it not exactly right for your approach?”
- If it works great according to your direct, just be sure you’re getting an honest reaction. In either case, keep going.
- Ask this last question: “Whether my system is ideal for you or not, I’d love for you to share one way you think our operating cadence or reporting relationship could be even stronger. How could I help you be even more effective in your job or on your growth trajectory?”
I can’t wait to hear what my client learns!
Thoughts, reactions, blurts? Share them here.
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PS: If you want to uncover one or more of your leadership blindspots, this is just about your last chance to join a stellar cohort of leaders in the 2025 Certification for Leader Coaches. Led by myself and Kaley Klemp, this six-month program will give you a sophisticated playbook for turning you into an even more well-rounded leader who also is an invaluable coach. Want to learn more? Apply here.
